Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Fags Mags and Bags

Right. For anyone that doesn't know, I cowrite and star in a Radio 4 comedy called Fags Mags and Bags which is entirely set in a small-to-medium retail establishment ie newsagents in Lenzie ie Lenzie. It's won some awards and hasn't won some other awards.  Radio 4 are currently airing the third series at 630pm on Tues nights, and the third episode goes out tonight. It's called The Wrath of Khan and will feature the violent death of a cast member. At tea time. It also features the introduction to faux-Lenzie of the wonderful Greg "Gary Tank Commander" McHugh - he plays local psychic Keith Futures. Sadly, this series was also one of the last things that Gerard Kelly did - he was a regular cast member, playing Father Henderson, a priest who knows more about Babylon 5 than he does about the wife of Job etc. His take on "the priesty from the easty" is an utter joy. If nothing else, tune in tonight to hear if there is any possible context that could render the following speakwords palatable:

"You’re mental. You got a birthday cake for a stick"
"Can you buy a Glade Plug-in at a climbing wall? No!"
"Can you buy a witch’s hat at Kwikfit? I’m not even going to dignify that with a ‘no’"
"I know you are a huminge being. I have sold you pan scourers that were not from beyond the grave"
"People always surprise you. Florence Nightingale came through one night and she was very sarcastic"
"I like to know who I’m dealing with so I’ve got a wee webcam in there between John the Baptist’s eyes"
"These tennis racquets could never be used meaningfully by Vitas Gerulaitis at al!"
"It’s mainly shuttlecocks. How heavy could it be?"
"Lineker was never meant to be in the front shop! He doesn’t have the gravitas!"
"I noticed a Bella, a Dr Who magazine and a Sarah Lancashire’s World of Owls"
"Stop saying spectrum"

If you likee likee likee, feel free to join our Facebook page or indeed download series 1, which is available on AudioGo.

In short - Fags Mags and Bags, tonight (13th Sep) 630pm Radio 4.  You're welcome.


  1. Series 4. It's what she would have wanted...

  2. Sanjeev,

    I've heard just two of this programme and I think it's one of the best tings I've heard on Radio 4 for a very long time.

    I wholeheartedly congratulate you on this wonderful idea.. quite surreal really. will there be any more