Monday, 12 September 2011

Hallo cheeky

Yes I mean you. Hello cheeky. I'm Sanjeev Kohli. Not the Sanjeev Kohli who composes music for Bollywood films. Not the Sanjeev Kohli who is logistics director at the bizarrely gangster-themed Untouchables home furnishings centre. No. I'm the other Sanjeev Kohli. Navid out of Still Game. Synthesiser Patel out of Look Around You. Synthesizer Patel out of Look Around You. (this doesn't mean that I size synths. I am merely trying to appeal to an American market. Apparently Matt Goss is v popular over there and I suspect we have a largely overlapping demographic). And I am also the co-writer and co-star (along with Donny Mcleary) of the Radio 4 comedy Fags Mags and Bags whose third series is currently getting a re-run, (630pm, Radio 4, Tues nights, seeing as you didn't ask). Why am I writing a blog? Well I feel there aren't nearly enough bloggers out there. In the same way that there aren't nearly enough zumba classes out there. Or cupcakes. Also, I find myself bursting with idiocy but without an outlet. My documentary Hitler's Dentist was all set for the green go-ahead until Channel 5 suddenly changed their commissioning strategy. My band A Wasp With A Sword haven't even been invited to the Take-A-Break stage at Glastonbury. And of course my plans for the jouging-up of Ground Zero were famously rejected at quite a late stage. (What exactly was wrong with a huge ceramic fucking owl?) In short, it would seem Mr Internet may well be my only the only medium to allow me to use its spare room. Even my own parents have taken down my Strawberry Switchblade posters and converted my old room into a panic room. I say panic room - all they've done is nail ten Bullworkers to the wall. 
So here I am. This is where I live now. I have been known to tweet occasionally, and there is a Fags Mags and Bags Facebook page, but if you're after some undiluted unusually pure Sanj then this is the place to find it. Arbritrary thoughts, observations, maybe even a song or two. Let me kick things off by saying that I will be doing a DJ set at Glasgow's Criterion bar this Friday (16th Sept). I say DJ set - I will be sat next to a generic MP3 player with a quivering finger. Cross-fading will be conspicuous by its absence. And you'll be getting an eclectic mix running the gamut from late 1920s hip-hop to the latest demos from Coventry's burgeoning jabba scene. (What is jabba? Think of a heavier version of denkstyle and you're a third of the way there) Either that or I'll just play No Parlez by Paul Young start to finish. Totally up to me. I'M IN CHARGE. No requests.

Thankyou for listening.


  1. I'll tell you what's wrong with a big fuck off owl. Nothing! Bloody philistines!